Monday 23 March 2009

Fugstumes Galore!

At first I thought this place was just for Halloween and costume parties. But then I saw them talking about 'authentic looking' costumes and appealing to the Renaissance Faire crowd. And after a little look around, I've concluded that this stuff would get you laughed out of the SCA... or even a casual and drunken All Hallows bash.

I know it's hard to get a chainmail look from anything that isn't real chainmail. But I know you can do better than this. If I'm spending $65, plus a minimum of $11.95 for postage, I damn well want a real cross and not a big red splot on my tabard. And they have the gall to call this historical? Bleeeagh. It goes without saying that I see nothing period here, and I'm giving it an award for the fugliest armour I have EVER seen. God, they had garb less goofy in Conan the Barbarian!

And for the ladies, we have mismatched trim and ugly paisley! And the 1980's bridesmaid! Or maybe you want to express your uniqueness. What is that denim thing she's wearing? Yes, it's certainly unusual, but in this case I don't think that's a selling point.

And guys? I know jesters are supposed to wear bright colours, but couldn't you come up with something less hideous than this?

Most garb here is less fugly than these horrors but still sports cheap satin, crushed velvet and little lace ruffles. There's no interest in accuracy, with features from many different eras mixed randomly and executed so badly that even as fantasy garb, it fails. It is possible to create inexpensive costumes that are attractive and evoke the proper era, but it requires good sewing skills... which this place lacks in spades.

2 comments:

  1. Why does every single place feel the need to have a 'jester' costume? Are they really that popular?

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  2. Oh, they have more than one. Browse around and check out the magenta and bubblegum pink one! I almost linked to it instead; I couldn't decide which was more obnoxious.

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